Life has been very busy lately, hence the lack of postings here, but I have still been doing alot of thinking, and thinking sometimes leads to writing, the problem is I’ve had no time to just sit and write. Someday soon I hope..Stay tuned 😛

Here’s a couple of links to a bunch of books for sale.

Fiction booklist : http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AuGeavGIxDiEdDhrVjgzXzVWd0o1QllfbVAtTXlGYnc&hl=en

Non-fiction booklist: http://spreadsheets.google.com/ccc?key=0AuGeavGIxDiEdDMwMDBadkhtSjRPaGNRcnMtT0hKM0E&hl=en

Just email me or leave a message on fb 🙂

Thanks!

We are paring back our DVD collection somewhat and have a few for sale. All DVDs are in pretty good shape and we are asking $10 each or best offer for any individual DVD or a better price if you buy more than one. There are some great movies to choose from, and stay tuned for more as I keep sorting. I’m doing the same with our books, and will post that list as soon as I’m done (SOOO many books!) If you want any of the DVDs just send me an email to ivygrrrl[at]gmail[dot]com, or leave a message here or on FB. I check both on a regular basis, and we can then figure out how to get the DVDs to you. Thanks everyone!

Alien Box Set – Alien, Aliens, Alien3, Alien Resurrection – $40 or best offer
Alien vs Predator – $10 or best offer
All other single DVDs – $10 each or best offer
Chicken Run

Superstar

Coffee and Cigarettes

Coyote Ugly

Barb Wire

Resident Evil

The Replacement Killers

Lord of War

The Truman Show

Black Rain

Enemy of the State x 2

Firewall

End of Days

Wolf

Forgotten

The Iron Giant

RV

The Fog

Batman Begins

Terminator 3

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Stealth

Mission Impossible 3

Minority Report

Die Hard

Blade

I, Robot

V for Vendetta

Mission Impossible 2

Bourne Identity

XXX

XXX: State of the Union

Behind Enemy Lines

The Sentinel

Swordfish

precious desire
flash of rapturous sun
brow wise
many eyes
visualize joy
harmonize soul
ecstasy
spirit
adventure
to enlighten thy day

Well, Silver has been really good these past few weeks. I think she’s finally feeling secure and learning more and more about herself and the house rules every day. We can now leave her for several hours on her own (well, with the other dogs) in the house and as long as she’s had a good run in the past couple of days, she’s really good and just sleeps (as far as we know!) until we get home again. She’s always happy to see us (we get several AROOORRROOOOS!) and sometimes she tries to jump up into our arms and lick our faces (which she isn’t really suppsed to do), but as long as she doesn’t get too exhuberant we allow her up for one lick and then she has to sit like the other dogs. She learns well from them (as long as they are being good), but definitely has a tendency to be her own dog. She LOVES going out for walks and to the park, and is definitely Miss Social Butterfly, walking off with other people, completely oblivious to the fact that she has her own pack to hang out with, but we call her (she knows the hand signal for COME!) and always gets a cookie when she does. Typically, she’ll ignore our calls until she makes eye contact and sees the signal, then she comes running with all her might and sits quickly at our feet, ready for the treat du jour. She’s really come a long way and we’re really quite proud of her! Good girl indeed! 🙂

Well, I can only think that she’s going through her terrible twos. She’s been quite a bad girl lately, fighting with Adhara and Little Bear, pushing her boundaries, practicing her selective hearing by not doing what she’s told, and giving us the “whatevar” look when she gets into trouble. Twice this week she’s fought with Adhara, once over a sleeping spot (next to Daddy!), and once over an empty paper bag (that was previously holding a piece of lemon poppyseed loaf). Rick took her to daycare today so I could get some cleaning done, but also to get her nice and tired so  we could have a quiet night.

I noticed when she came home from daycare she was feeling really great and was very happy to be home (which is awesome!) but then I realized that she’s also bringing home attitude from daycare. Apparently, she’s one of the bigger dogs there, and the girls just LOVE her to bits, and she gets tons of attention and love and her little dog brain goes *wee!*. She runs around all day, being a star (which is fantastic and totally good for her!) but then when she gets home, she harbours this “better than you” attitude, and starts pushing herself into alpha territory with Adhara. Now this just won’t stand because Rick is the most alpha of all and it just takes him and a few well-placed growls to get the girls to settle down and understand the pecking order of the household – alpha world looks like this: Rick, Adhara, Kim, Little Bear, Silver. Being at the bottom at home is no fun especially when you’re on top all day at daycare. *sigh* I’m really trying not to confuse her (it doesn’t take much), and I’m not sure if we should stop taking her to daycare or hope she’ll just grow out of it or figure it out, whichever comes first.  We unfortunately can’t leave her at home unattended for long periods of time yet, and taking her with us everywhere we go just isn’t always possible . So now I’m wondering what to do??

…that Spring is almost here! I have had the worst seasonal affective disorder this year, and so I am VERY happy that Spring is in the air.  It has been a long cold winter for sure and I’m definitely ready for some warmer weather and longer days. It’s pretty amazing what just a little extra sun can do for a person. I’m waking up earlier and I’m more excited about getting on with the day, I feel energized and motivated, my head is filled with ideas and I’m feeling ambitious about finishing projects and starting new ones. Astrologically, I’m low on air so when Spring hits, it really fills me up with that uplifting energy (literally, the wind beneath my sails) and makes me feel as though I can fly again. Thank you Spring! You are my favourite season for sure!! *happyspringtimedance* 🙂

Today I’m feeling pretty good, tomorrow might be another story, but there is hope on the horizon (like the title says!). I’m seeking therapy for my rollercoaster-riding psyche, I’ll be holding on tight at times I’m sure, but there will be moments where I will let go joyfully just to feel that rush of fear whoosh by my conscience, cast out in all directions, gone forever with hopes that I will never have to see that fear again.  I am glad I’ve taken the first step, and I know that the steps will get easier with time.

After an appointment with my doctor yesterday, we decided that I wasn’t really crazy, just misguided and there there are ways of dealing with said misguidedness.  Because of my nature (i’m a capricorn with a grand earth trine) it takes a long time for things to sink in sometimes. I enjoy change, but not too fast. I can move towards something, but not too quickly.  If I don’t have all my ducks in order, I might not proceed and if I do, it’ll be at a snail’s pace. This has always been frustrating to me. I see people who can move quickly, think quickly, do quickly, and get on with their lives and I envy them because they make it seem so effortless. I am a heavy load to bear, and my burdens, whether imagined or real, come with me wherever I go.  I know that much of my self-worth comes directly from how I am feeling at any given time about myself. I am trying to feel better about myself, but will have to come up with a whole new way of looking at my life. At the moment, I feel as though I’m stuck in a downward spiral (and you know how much I love spinning!) – but I want it to be an upward spiral (because going up is so much more fun!), and so I’m working towards this, albeit slowly, but I’ll get there.  One day soon, I’ll be able to see over the horizon, going up towards the light, and it’ll be the best day ever!

In the meantime, I found a little friend called Faith to help me along.  He’s going to be my constant companion, reminding me that I must have faith in myself to succeed.  He’s sitting right beside my computer and he lets me know that without a doubt, faith exists and it’s up to me to have it.  I’m looking forward to the day when I will meet my old self again.  I’m sure she’s been quite lonely without me. 🙂

Well, here we are again, ready for another trip around the mulberry bush. If only life were that easy. I sometimes long to be a child again, to have someone else be responsible for my health and well-being, to be carefree, and unaware of all the troubles in my world and the world around me. I’m at the age now where everything is smack dab in the middle of my vision and sometimes I can’t help but to want to escape into another reality. I know that I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends, I have a great life, but it has always seemed like something was and is still missing. I had a very tumultuous and somewhat sad childhood, then dysfunctional teenage years, which eventually led to tumultuous and dysfunctional adult years. I feel as though I’ve never known peace, and that every new year that comes along will just be another confused and dysfunctional time in my life. I have been trying for years to truly get my shit together, and every time I think I’m making progress, something happens, whether internal or external, of my own doing or not – I feel as though I just can’t figure it out. I know that there are alternative treatments out there, such as chiropractic work, nutritional therapy, psychological therapy and probably a hundred others. I will be trying out more of these, to try to find something that works for a long term effect. I’m a stubborn person with a rather weak consitution at the moment, and yes, this is of my own doing, trying to cope with things that I can’t control, and feeling like a miserable failure for not being able to figure it out. Such is my life lately. I do hope that something will work, because I’m very tired of feeling this way about myself and about life in general. I’ve been hiding for so long now that I’m not sure where to even start to find a way out. Old habits die hard, but I guess I’ll have to start somewhere.

All the best in 2009 to everyone who might read this. I hope your year is full of health and happiness, new opportunities and the love of friends and family, and of course, the love of your own self, because that’s as important as anything else.

Love,

kim

It’s a good thing she’s SO cute, because she’s a bundle of energy on four legs with a nose for trouble and a brain to match.  We’ve been having lots of fun tho, and she’s teaching me as much as (I think) I’m teaching her. It’s a good balance 🙂 Being a puppy, she has the attention span of a 2 year old, and the energy of an olympian team of triathletes.  She loves to play and is curious about *everything* including the water running under the manhole cover, anything that moves such as squirrels, cats, leaves, birds, and kids, the toilet, stuffed animals, and take out containers, just to name a few.  She’s pushy, grabby, pully and noisy, feisty, challenging, but oh so loveable! And her eyes – beautiful but intimidating, ready to stare down anything that summons her attention.  Her pupils glow red  when she’s excited and return to bluish white when she’s calm. She’s a skilled player in the park, darting to and fro, investigating the myriad of sights, smells and sounds in all directions, pouncing and running, stealing toys, rabble rousing all the other dogs to follow her on her merry chase. She loves people and children, and they seem to be just as taken with her as she is with them. And then, when she’s tired, she comes to you for kisses and snuggles, and she flumps down beside you, and offers up her belly for a rub, you know that all is good in her world, as she drifts off into her colourful puppy dreams. 🙂