I often catch myself paying attention to the ongoing discourse that’s going on in my head. Sometimes the voice is loud and sometimes it is soft. I sometimes stop to answer this inside voice, and at times, I look as though I’m in a deep conversation with myself. My facial expressions will change, I’ll sometimes laugh out loud or look perplexed, and I’ll often talk to myself. Does everyone do this at times or am I just a senile person waiting to happen? I often wonder.

When I am wandering around on a lovely day, going about my business, there are a few things that I automatically do when interacting with the outside world. I wonder if these interactions make me seem as though I am a little crazy. As I wander, I will try to make eye contact with everyone who passes by me, and offer them a smile. Sometimes I get one in return and sometimes I don’t. If they don’t smile back, it’s ok, I don’t take it personally. I will smile at dogs and cats, at plants, at clouds, at couples interacting, at children, at policemen, at other crazy people, and even at statuary. I talk to strangers, I stop to smell the flowers, I watch out for people in need, and often to stop to gaze in wonder at a particularly creative store window, or other interesting scenes. Do these actions simply make me observant or is there something else going on here?

I also often wonder if I spend too much time alone. I feel comfortable with myself, I enjoy my own company and I can certainly amuse myself anywhere, anytime with anything, but I wonder if this is normal. When there’s no one else around, it’s easy to sing out loud, or laugh, or dance or get caught up in the ever fascinating world of watching bugs in my garden. I feel happy and calm when I’m with myself, just doing the little silly things that I do. There’s no stress (except for the ‘you really should be doing something more productive’ voice that I hear at these times), and I know there are more productive things that I could be doing, but I have to let myself play too. It’s like these little moments of ‘insanity’ will help me stay sane in the long run. Perhaps I just have too much on my mind and it’s a way that I can let my mind wander without bounds. I really need to learn how to channel my excessive energy into something creative and fun, and quell the nagging that goes on in my brain at times. Silly brain! How can you possibly make plans to take over the world when there’s so much else to do?

My horoscope for today:

“Your legendary need to achieve results might not bring fulfillment now, for whatever you accomplish will likely fall short of your expectations. It may be useful today to examine your personal history to better understand what motivates your drive for success. Ultimately, happiness will come from within.”

While I’ve known this most of my life, reading it (over and over!), and having found someone to talk to about my personal history, this is all finally starting to make sense!

Don’t worry, BE HAPPY!

😀

This video totally made my day!!! Om Sri Ganeshaya Namah!

click here –>Jai Jai Ganesa!

Now, those are dance moves 😉

Well, I guess we’ve been lucky with the more temperate (and less humid) weather that Toronto is known for in the summertime. Today, it’s FREEEAKIN’ hot! Being of a more substantial stature (above average is my favourite term), it’s sometimes a little harder to keep cool, especially when one feels motivated to get stuff done around the house, and there’s always LOTS to do. The living room is one of the only rooms that is nice and cool (it has a window air conditioner), so on really hot days, I tend to visit it more than usual.   Most of the time during the summer, our house is a warm but comfortable 75-80 degrees (yay! double brick!), and luckily we have a ceiling fan in the bedroom so we can sleep on those hot humid nights, so it’s really quite tolerable, UNLESS YOU GO OUTSIDE! then, *MELT*, it’s looking for shade time. I’m always looking for cool places to hide, so when I’ve tired myself out doing stuff around the house or oot and aboot, I can sit for a bit with a tall glass of ice water, and perhaps read a little, or just hang around daydreaming in the skychair. The back deck is almost done and soon it will turn into a little backyard sanctuary, complete with raspberry plants, veggies, flowers, a fireman’s pole and a trapeze. Yes, it is a multi-purpose space! 😉 Unfortunately, there’s really not enough room to hang the hammock in my little ivy cave, so I’m hoping to be able to hang it on the front porch, and you’ll likely catch me cat napping in the afternoon or even sleeping out there in the evening every once and a while. Ok, coffee has kicked in, now onto job 43B 🙂 Enjoy the day!